


Untitled 2017

by Layxing



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Baekhyun - Freeform, Byun Baekhyun - Freeform, ChanBaek - Freeform, Chanyeol - Freeform, EXO - Freeform, M/M, Oneshot, Park Chanyeol - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-07 18:46:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12238596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Layxing/pseuds/Layxing
Summary: An English essay I got a high mark in and was proud of"The last photo we ever took together"Written in Baekhyuns POV





	Untitled 2017

I've never liked attics. In fact, as a kid, I used to have an irrational fear of the creaks and scratches I heard through my bedroom ceiling. 

Granted, it was probably just pipes or a mouse but I had a wild imagination full of childish creations. 

I've matured since then but yesterday I found myself in our attic, holding the small box I'd been hiding from myself for as long as I could.

 

Yesterday marked four years.

I sat down on an old, discarded cushion and leant back against the wall, placing the box in my lap and softly ran my fingers over the engraved lid clearing some of the dust.

I slid the box open and the smell of peppermint filled the small space around me.  
I breathed deeply, taking in the comforting scent.

We'd filled the box with movie, concert and plane tickets, shells from our trips to the beach, polaroids, notes and even a handmade mixtape before he left. 

He'd added a few bags of peppermint tea because he knew I loved the refreshing smell. The memory was happy and I smiled causing a few tears I hadn't been aware of to roll down my cheeks.

 

I picked out the oldest photo, one of us in kindergarten, both sitting on the grass, arms flung around each others shoulders and huge smiles on our painted faces. 

We'd known each other since we were toddlers. He was a rowdy kid, forever running around, showing off all his toys while I preferred sitting by myself and coloring or drawing. 

I guess I haven't changed much. He decided I looked lonely and ran over to play with me, his booming voice introducing himself as "Chanyeol, aged four".

 

No matter how much I ignored him and pushed him away, he stuck onto me insisting we were made to be "super best friends". 

It only took me one week for three and a half year old me to realize how much I enjoyed his presence. 

About a month after we met, he came down with a cold and was off for a week and that was all I needed. 

I immediately felt a change in the atmosphere the first day of his absence. 

I missed how much he had to say about anything and everything.  
I missed the ham sandwiches he insisted on sharing with me.  
I missed how he'd always ask for a sip of my juice, then take it before I could reply. I always acted annoyed but I never really was.  
I missed how he'd compliment everything I did and how he'd run up to the teachers to show off my drawings, boasting about how pretty they were. 

When he was well enough to come back I hugged him and held his hand the whole day, suddenly I was the one clinging onto him. 

That's how we stayed ever since, holding hands (mostly metaphorically) all through primary school, then high school and he every studied harder to secure a place in the same university as me. 

 

The next photo that caught my eye was of us on our graduation day. 

I'd graduated with an art degree and a doctorate in psychology while Chanyeol had degrees in engineering, music production and photography. We started dating in our first year of university. 

He asked me out by throwing a ball of paper at me which said  
"will you go out with me? Breathe for yes, do a back flip for no". 

Our day ended in the emergency room because I'd broken my wrist attempting a backflip. I rummaged through the box until I found the note, reading over it then placing it back in the box with the photo tucked inside it.

 

The next few photos were in a bundle- dates, trips and holidays.  
Leafing through them I recalled happy memories of our years together. 

There were photos (all polaroids- he insisted on using the instant camera I bought him for Christmas) of us in front of the Eiffel tower, posing with 'celebrities' in Madame Tussaud's, us at the black mailbox, cosplaying as Deadpool and spiderman at San Diego comic con, touring Mt Fuji and much simpler ones of us at the beach, picnics under cherry blossom trees, baking on Christmas eve and cuddling on the couch on movie nights. 

 

I searched though the box until I found the photo of us on our wedding day. 

We had our hands laced, eyes locked, grinning fondly at each other. 

We'd gotten married a month before he received the notice that he was due to serve his military enlistment. Since enlistment wasn't mandatory in the US, I had never known anyone who had served in the military, but since Chanyeol was born in South Korea he had to do at least twenty one months of compulsory military service before his thirtieth birthday. 

He applied for a position in the air force and within two weeks he was set to take off. His enlistment was to last two years as a civil engineer. 

We'd spent every moment together before he left, promising to call as much as possible. We'd made the box of memories on our last night together, it's purpose was to bring joy but now it just served as a nepenthe. 

He was up at five am the next day and we set off for the barracks at six. He'd left me with a fleeting kiss and a pinky promise of great stories. 

 

I looked through the box until I found the photo I treasured the most. The last picture we ever took together, taken four years ago to that day. 

The smooth surface of the photograph seemed to burn between my fingers as I held it. 

My vision blurred as hot tears glazed my eyes until, one by one, the started cascading down my cheeks as heavy sobs tore through my body.  
I let myself slide lower down the wall, my face buried in my hands.  
My breath caught and I started shaking. 

Four years. 

After about fifteen months of him leaving, the phone calls stopped and a sense of dysphoria set in. I didn't complain. I was proud of him. I wanted to scream but my throat felt raw.

 

I recalled the day I heard a knock on the door, about three months after Chanyeol was supposed to return. 

I ran to open the door, expecting his warm brown eyes to meet mine once again but instead there stood a lieutenant general, holding his hat and a letter in his hands. 

His eyes were sunken, dark circles dominating his face. I felt my body become numb and I lost track of time as I stood there, fingers turning white from gripping the door to keep my legs from buckling. 

His voice snapped me back to harsh reality and I stepped back, allowing him to enter.

 

I was expecting his words before the came but they hurt nonetheless. 

"I regret to inform you that your husband has been deemed missing in action". 

The following hour he spent with me was foggy in my memory as he went over payments and legal rights. 

I was gone. 

Physically there but my conscious was missing. The lieutenant expressed his condolences as he left. 

 

I didn't want to think of life without Chanyeol so I didn't. 

I spent the last two years going briskly through life without thinking. I made jigsaws, took up gaming, immersed myself in TV shows, tried to learn guitar. 

I did anything to take my mind off the reality in front of me. Each new thing I tried brought about a feeling of purpose but they were evanescent, each making me lose interest faster than the one prior. 

So I got a dog. 

I remember walking through the pound, being drawn towards the doberman pinscher who was barking continuously. I brought him home, impulsively naming him Frodo- Chanyeols favorite book character. 

Frodo helped fill the deafening silence and the cold space in our bed but not the aching in my gut.

 

I woke, realizing I had fallen asleep clutching the box to my chest. 

My joints popped as I stood up, putting the box back up in its place after making sure the contents were secure. 

 

I felt better after crying. I usually did. I took my time going back to the kitchen. After checking my phone I found I'd been asleep for almost six hours, that it was four years and one day. 

Frodo's rhythmic breathing filled the empty kitchen. The buzz of the fridge, the sounds of the clock and the car engines outside worked in harmony to create a monotone background noise. I was thankful for noise. 

 

I decided it wasn't too late for coffee and proceeded to fill the kettle and set out the cups. It wasn't until I took a sip that I realised I'd made two, a slip up which hadn't haunted me in a long time. 

I always made enough food for two, insisting to nobody but myself that it was because I felt extra hungry that day but coffee was different. 

I'd made it in his mug.

I decided to study for a while so I put in my earphones and focused on my books. 

 

I had taken up learning Japanese a while ago, the language already pre-destined to be abandoned along with the rest of my hobbies. 

I'd become somewhat invested in the words on the page when I felt Frodo nuzzle my leg softly. 

I heard his feeble whines as I took out my earphones and petted him while he pawed at my feet restlessly. 

It must have been knocks which woke him. I assumed it to be Mrs Min, the old lady in the flat next to mine who came to check on me and restock my fridge every now and then. 

"I'm coming" I called out, trying to move past Frodo. 

I slipped open the chain and unlocked the door, pulling it open to greet Mrs Min. 

Instead, his warm brown eyes met mine. 

"Hey Baek" he said softly, voice breaking. 

"I'm home".

**Author's Note:**

> I am aware that Baekhyun was born in Korea but for the purposes of this story he was born in the US


End file.
